Dear Eyewash,
You've been a regular this past one month and a half and i'l be honest, have rushed to see the mails on news of receiving them. Tabloid stuff. Investigative journalism. Oooooh. Very Nice. However, On the eve of the departure of the Outreach teams, on such a poignant moment, i would like to share my views on a few things. The fingers were itching, cant help. This is my post, not anonymous, and i take full responsibilty for what i write. Have the popcorns ready..
Firstly, "Eyewash" is so passé ! Too much anti-bacterial. Would much rather prefer iWash. Hope you like Apple. Not the fruit. Apple Inc.. ipods, iphone, ipad, get the point? All blockbusters. Sex appeal man. Universal acceptance. Need to reposition yourself.. and dont tell me you're majoring in marketing. would be a let down. seriously.
Secondly, Thank You for the anonymous mail actually. The one mail in which i was a direct recipient. I'm not talking about the contents of the e-mail, just the fact that it was anonymous. Grew up reading Famous Five n Secret Seven and in every second book, there was an anonymous letter. Else, to have lived a life without being a recipient of an anonymous mail would have been so not hip ! (Enid Blyton.. we connect now!)
Thirdly, How about starting a franchise? i mean, in the latest mail, the sender claims to be sending the mail to you as well. You're the Big Boss now !! Which actually has potential you know. The Placement Cell can connect you, anonymously ofcourse, to various corporates and other B-Schools and the likes, and the anonymous model can be replicated. You get the recognition. and as the movement spreads, YOU, my dear friend, automatically are an entrepreneur ! How cool is that, huh ?! Our own Julian Assange. Wooopeee! The girls love such guys. Anonymously, ofcourse.
Fourthly, as you would know, i'm jobless right now (Damn you placement cell !) and although when i was younger, i had other interests to keep me occupied, you know - cricket and EA sports and orkut and facebook and going into girls' profiles and seeing their pictures and downloading some of them and secretly wishing one of them was my girlfriend and then occassionly visiting those other sites you know, hehe, yes i know - anonymously, things have changed off late. So, if you have a vacancy, especially proof reading your mails, grammatical errors, making it gender neutral etc, do drop me an e-mail and i will be happy to be at your service. terms and conditions later.
Fifthly, i know you would have stopped and listened to conversations, wherever they may be happening, regarding your mails (boost to your ego, eh ;)) and as such, you'd know that you're a big thing now. So, the point being, ever thought of merchandising? Dude, You're seriously wasting yourself in this 2 year program, you know. I mean, how cool would a black tee look with the words "iWash, do You?". See.. get the point? 180 senior batch, 180 junior batch + you mentioned Alumni in one of your mails, look at the potential man! Who needs placement! and we even have Addopensa to print the tees! Oh wait, Eyewash, Siva.. Damn!
Sixthly, You've become a regular mailer now. Why not put your creative ability to more use and write for Reminiscence? you and the others who claim not to be you but God-damn still mail, do write with passion, i can see. so why not channelize that passion and actually write more. Everybody should write more. On various other aspects as well. Chetan Bhagat's initials translate into Consumer Behaviour. He knew. feel the pulse. You're anonymous man.. not like you're nobody. Just do it.
Seventhly, Your organisation structure needs refinement. Organise a cell / club. Yup, the Anonymous Club. Chipkao a poster someplace (not the canteen plz, as it is, it gets overcrowded) and ask people to gather at a particular place. And from some place anonymous, note down the names of those who turn up. They're the people who'l be in your club. Hold meetings anonymously - dont tell them the floor, class etc till the very last minute and if you want to go social networking, then Facebook offers you the facility to create secret groups! there's a solution for everything. Can always have your own logo desiging competition you know.
Eightly, and i'm serious about this.. i want my Email ID in the "Sent to" Field and not in some BCC MCC. Seems sooooo vulgar! Dada comes rushing in asking if i got the mail. i say "Yes", Dada askes : "Where?" , i state "BCC" , Dada goes "Oh Tu hoga BCC, Bhen Di !" :( And I mean, I like others am a social animal (more on this later) and want to know my importance in your opinion. In the ONE mail in which you had my Email ID in the sent to field, it was AFTER Anuj's ID. Now dude, that hurts! Have you never heard of Inter-Flat rivalry? does it mean nothing to you? Now Anuj, for 3 days teased me about the fact, ok? And random people get a mention in the Sent To field and not me.. Such a psychologically demotivating factor! Do something about it. Pissed off. Bigtime.
Ninethly, At the end of your emails, Puhleez, for God's sake, write Second Year Students minus Raj Shekhar, because seriously, intentionally-unintentionally inferring me as a sender of those horrendously written mails without paying me the loyalty (plus extra for those silly mistakes - sample this, from the mail sent today, "one dirty wish does spoil the whole pond" !! WISH ?! isnt it supposed to be FISH ?! Are you a vegetarian or what?) is not making any business sense to me. seriously.
Tenthly, I hope you're in the Sparsh Club and Join those wonderful wonderful bunch of people as they go around helping others and doing their bit while on field visits and otherwise. Your Mails are about the placement cell and You're concerned about your placements, else you would not have been anonymous. Accept it. So whilst crusading for everything you've mentioned and continue to say, i hope you'l be present at the following event - http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=165853833485671 . Its a Flash Mob, against sexual harassment of women in Delhi Metro and one of my school friends is a co-founder of the entire thing. Awesome people those. So, hopefully, you'l be present at the event and yet not present (anonymously present idiot, duh!) and help in a good cause. Event details on the page itself.
That is all i have to say. Got some assignments pending. How about an anonymous mail about them someday? you'l get univocal support. my assurance. And yes, if some of the above mentioned ideas appeal to you, or not, you know whom to thank.
oh, and between me and you, i never knew and had to search to know Eyewash stands for a mild solution for applying to the eyes for relief of irritation etc. Thanks.
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